


but here we are

by mytsukkishine



Series: kakairu for the soul [11]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Iruka Needs Lots Of Love, Kakashi is In Love, M/M, POV Hatake Kakashi, Pein attack era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytsukkishine/pseuds/mytsukkishine
Summary: Kakashi reminisces the day he promised Iruka everything. It was a wild ride of a relationship and it made Kakashi think that Iruka was so damn worth it. Every last breath.That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be, luckily you saw in me what I couldn't see.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: kakairu for the soul [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629499
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	but here we are

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [но вот мы здесь](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452271) by [Berry_tea_with_cookies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berry_tea_with_cookies/pseuds/Berry_tea_with_cookies)



> just sweet sweet Kakashi

_Could you imagine where our lives would leave_

_That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be_

_Luckily you saw in me_

_Something I couldn't see_

Kakashi glanced up at the sky. It was weird. Everything looked so peaceful as if everything around him doesn’t exist. Only him and his thoughts. He gently smiled as his fingers felt that small metal wrapped around his ring finger.

Kakashi never thought that one day he would put something on his finger, kunai or shuriken, yes, but a ring? A commitment? That’s the most dangerous thing Kakashi had entered but he’d done it because of him.

Iruka.

The ride towards where he was now was wild. A lot of ups and downs, a lot of confusion and denying but Kakashi can’t keep himself away from him. No matter how many times he had tried to push away those undeserving feelings of his own, he always shows up on time, as if he knew what he felt. Kakashi kind of believed the heavens have pushed Iruka towards him.

He remembered the first time he woke up with him. It was ethereal and Kakashi felt like a kunai was stuck to his chest because that was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen. Those long lashes kissed those cheekbones gently, his thin nose formed a perfect line and don’t get him started on those lips. It wasn’t pale, it wasn’t that red either. It was perfect. Especially when those lips smiled and those lashes fluttered as Kakashi was greeted with a soft good morning.

Surprisingly, Kakashi forgot he had the ability to record everything he had seen but he thought there was no need. He was promised to see this view every day.

From the day on, Kakashi was slowly, slowly submitting his own feelings to him. It was hard, the thought of Iruka would soon be hurt was constantly bugging his mind but one smile, that goddamn one smile brought Kakashi back to reality. The reality that he’s there, Iruka was there.

_Such a fool_

_I took your love and I bent all the rules_

_You took the blow and didn't let it show_

_Stuck around to let me know_

Kakashi blinked, his eyes getting a little blurry but the sky was still so damn blue. It made him remember the times they had fought. Their relationship wasn’t really easy to begin with. There would always be fights and sometimes Kakashi wanted to just disappear because he’s hurting Iruka too much. The other kept sacrificing his own thoughts and opinions just so he could get through the fight. It was idiotic but Kakashi grew up.

He grew and learned to take the blame. To take in consideration of what was Iruka feeling. Like today, after he woke up with that serene face, Kakashi apologized because he needed to go somewhere. He doesn’t want to leave him alone but the reassuring smile the sensei gave him was enough.

Iruka loved flowers. He won’t admit it but that one time he saw him gazing at the Yamanaka shop was enough of a conclusion. So when he found himself dressing up, he took a small bouquet of flowers that he managed to hide and gave it to the very surprised sensei.

It was so worth it.

“I love you,”

Kakashi won’t get tired hearing that.

“I love you too,”

_Won't you decide_

_I want you to soar_

_Don't doubt anymore_

_(Little by little, we meet in the middle)_

Kakashi took in a deep breath. He slowly spun the ring on his finger again. The day Iruka had accepted the ring was the happiest day of his life. It wasn’t a marriage proposal but more like a promise. That day, they had been together for five years and he was hella nervous. More nervous than facing other missin-nins in the Bingo Book.

Well, only Iruka Umino can make Kakashi Hatake, the Copy-nin, a nervous wreck. 

Kakashi recalled that day. It was as peaceful as the sky above him. It was warm but not too much and they were on top of Iruka’s roof. They were just talking about random stuff, from Naruto’s progress to his past missions, the rings in his pocket were being touched with his sweaty hands.

But then Iruka leaned in to kiss him through his mask before he pulled away to give him a cheeky smile. He had apologized for kissing him because he thought Kakashi looked cute being a little dazed. That was the sign Kakashi needed. He brought out the rings and presented one to him.

“This is to remind you I’m with you,”

“Kakashi…”

“You had put up with me, Iruka. I hope you’ll accept my promise. As long this is with you, I’m gonna be stuck with you forever.”

Iruka had jumped him, almost dropping the rings but Kakashi’s fast reflex caught it just in time. They had laughed and kissed until Iruka dragged them back inside the apartment and showered him with all his love that day.

Even in the midst of messy hair, heavy breathing. Their linked hands with the rings touching were enough for Kakashi’s heart to burst out. It was a weird but warm feeling. He loved him so much.

So much that Kakashi closed his eyes and then he found himself standing behind a tree. He wanted to see Iruka. He missed him so much.

Kakashi ran. He dodged some shinobis on the way, jumped some roofs, and all until he landed in the hospital where he knew Iruka was located. Kakashi knew because it’s Iruka.

He casually walked into the hallway. There were lots of people, hurt and crying but he wanted to get to him.

“Kakashi-sensei!” It was Sakura. She looked so tired but she was still tending to an injured chunin. He didn’t answer her. Kakashi just nodded at his student and gave her his infamous eye smile. She grew up as a wonderful shinobi. She was so different before and Kakashi couldn’t be any more proud. Sakura would soon surpass Tsunade and Kakashi was happy that he managed to see her progress.

Sakura, seemed to notice why Kakashi was here, pointed at another hallway as she gave her sensei a small smile. Kakashi nodded again and walked towards another hallway where some more injured shinobi and civilians resided.

When he passed by one room, Kakashi stopped.

The people inside seemed to have noticed him because they caught Iruka’s attention and pointed at him.

There it was. Even a little battered, Iruka still looked so handsome. Kakashi sometimes asked himself what he had done to deserve such caring, handsome, and brave chunin sensei. Yes, for Kakashi, Iruka was the braver one, not him. He was a coward.

“Kakashi!” Iruka almost yelled as he ran up to him, about to engulf him in a hug but Kakashi stopped him, chuckling a little. The action confused the chunin but Kakashi immediately held his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yes! I—are you? You were supposed to be out there,”

“Let’s go there, sensei…” Kakashi glanced to his left where the hallway ends with a lone open window. Iruka was still confused and Kakashi wanted to kiss him so he did. Through his mask. That seemed to snap Iruka out of his trance because he was about to speak up but Kakashi pulled him away.

Away from the noisy room and hallways.

“Kakashi, I love you but I need to help the people—”

_And if our world comes tumbling down_

_I never could forgive myself for leaving out_

_You're the one_

_You are the only one_

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi breathed in, eyes staring at those brown orbs that he loved to look at every day and night. Kakashi reached up his left hand to wipe away some dirt that managed to be stuck on Iruka’s cheeks.

Iruka didn’t utter a word. He just stood there, confused but focused on the jounin.

“I’m sorry for everything up until this point,” Kakashi remembered the time he almost hurt Iruka with his kunai, he didn’t mean that. He was just surprised and he hated surprises and Iruka—Iruka forgave him. The chunin was always so forgiving.

“You know I wanted to marry you,”

Iruka’s breath hitched.

“Right now, I would. I want to,”

“Kakashi…”

“He loves you,” Iruka raised his brow but was cut short as Kakashi grabbed for his hand again. He covered his palm over his and Kakashi always love it how their skin contrasts with each other perfectly.

“So much and he’s sorry,”

“Wha…” Iruka choked a sob, tears were suddenly streaming down his face when his eyes glanced down at his open palm where Kakashi’s hand rested earlier.

It was a ring.

Their promise ring.

Iruka’s eyes then landed on Kakashi’s hand where he knew the ring rested and it was there. He was pretty sure he was wearing his ring also but— slowly, ever so slowly and painfully, Iruka glanced back up at Kakashi. “No…”

Kakashi pulled down his mask and gave Iruka a smile, “Iruka-sensei, I love you so much and I want to marry you but I’m sorry… I can’t keep it up anymore,”

“No…” Iruka sobbed quietly, eyes locked on him as his whole body trembled. Kakashi wanted to hug him so badly but he can’t. Instead, the jounin leaned in closer and landed a soft kiss against Iruka’s hitai-ate. Iruka released a small cry, eyes closed and his hands on his chest, clutching the ring tightly.

“Iruka,”

“Kakashi… I love you,” Kakashi smiled again as he pressed their foreheads together, the metal of their hitai-ate clanked softly. Iruka’s eyes flowed down with so much tears, his cheeks pink and stained but he still looked so beautiful.

“I love you more than anything. I hope you forgive me,”

“I love you,” Iruka said with a sob and kept repeating those three words that made Kakashi’s heart so damn happy. “Iruka,” he called again, and finally, those teary eyes locked on his.

“Let’s meet again, soon huh?”

“Please don’t,”

“I can’t keep it anymore…”

“No don’t go!” Iruka then clutched onto his flak jacket but soon a puff of smoke surrounded him, leaving him crying, clutching on the floor with the ring in his hand.

_I never could forgive myself for leaving out_

Kakashi glanced up at the sky as he felt his chakra draining. He gently closed his eyes as his head lolled back lifelessly, all of his strength leaving him. The wreck of the village surrounded him and Iruka’s cries echoed in his memories.

 _Oh._ He caught that missile, huh? He hoped Choji made it back in time.

Kakashi remembered the time he promised to return back in time from a mission but due to miscalculated, and surprise enemies, Kakashi was a week delayed in returning home to Konoha. When he did return, Iruka cried and peppered him with kisses.

From then on Kakashi swore to return home on time. Until now. He broke a promise again.

Kakashi took a deep breath and then everything around him was black but he was greeted with his father’s back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Okaaaay I'm sorry but I just love the idea of Kakashi sending his clone to Iruka in his finale moments during the Pein attack! But no worries, he will live righttttt
> 
> Thank u hahaha  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated ❣️


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